I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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