Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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