Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
