remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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