You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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