dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
