How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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