Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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