ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
