drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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