I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
