Im at strip club and am horny
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
