She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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