Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
