Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it because I queefed?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
