I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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