Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
