If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
