Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
