alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
