Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
