Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
