Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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