All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
