If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I am morally bankrupt
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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