Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
