who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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