pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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