he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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