can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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