If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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