VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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