After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A+ Viking dick
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
