Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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