The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
