I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
