I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
