someone threw a dead crab at me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
