considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize