Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
