Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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