im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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