is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
