Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
