I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
