Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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