I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
