If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the liver wants what the liver wants
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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