someone get that fucking seahorse.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
