I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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