I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
