Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
