I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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