Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
