I wish I could punch you in the face.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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