the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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