He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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