it hurts more in the daytime
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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