I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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